A Lesson from 35 Years of Long-Distance Friendship

When I immigrated from Sierra Leone 35 years ago, I left behind more than just my home. I left behind friends who were like family. In a time before the internet and cheap international calls, maintaining those bonds required immense effort. I learned early on that distance does not weaken real friendships, but a lack of intentionality does.

Do you ever feel this way?

•You feel disconnected from friends who no longer live nearby.

•You struggle to keep up with friendships amid your own transformation.

•You wonder if long-distance friendships can still feel meaningful.

The truth is, with effort, communication, and shared experiences, friendships can stay strong despite the miles. As Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” True friendship withstands distance and change.

Why Long-Distance Friendships Are Worth Nurturing

•They provide continuity in your journey. My friends from my childhood in Sierra Leone remind me of how far I have come and keep me grounded in who I am.

•They offer unique perspectives. Conversations with them offer me a unique perspective, a window into a world outside of my daily life in the United States.

•They reinforce love and loyalty. These lasting friendships are a constant reminder that true connection is not about being in the same city, but being in each other’s hearts.

Biblical Example: Paul’s Letters to Friends and Churches

Even though Paul traveled and could not always be physically present, he maintained deep relationships by writing letters, offering encouragement, and staying connected through faith. “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong.” (Romans 1:11). Staying connected is about intentional effort.

5 Ways I Have Learned to Keep Long-Distance Friendships Strong

1.How can I schedule regular check-ins? I schedule recurring calls and video chats to stay connected with loved ones across the globe.

2.What is a creative way to maintain our bond? My wife and I often share photos and stories of our family, so our friends can watch our children grow even from afar.

3.How can I make communication more meaningful? I find that sending voice messages or thoughtful texts can be just as meaningful as a long call.

4.How can I trust God to sustain important friendships? I pray for my friends and trust that “The Lord will watch over your coming and going.” (Psalm 121:8)

5.What scripture reminds me that strong friendships endure? “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24)

How to Stay Connected Despite Distance

•Prioritize Quality Over Quantity. Even small, consistent efforts make a huge difference.

•Celebrate Life Moments Together. Acknowledge birthdays, milestones, and achievements, no matter how far away.

•Support Each Other’s Growth. Pray for one another and share encouragement.

•Pray for Strengthened Bonds. Ask God to sustain the friendships that matter most.

As 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Encourage one another and build each other up.” Distance does not weaken friendships. Lack of effort does.

Your Turn: This past Thanksgiving week was a time for connection. As we move forward, who is one long-distance friend you can reach out to today? A simple call or message can bridge any distance.