Finding Your People: Building Connections That Fuel Your Reinvention

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Connections Grow Stronger When Rooted in Common Ground

Two months ago, Melvina and I moved to Sacramento. New city, new beginning.

In many ways, it feels like starting life over again. The kids have flown out of our nest, and for the first time in a long time I can actually hear myself think without Cartoon Network or Captain Underpants in the background.

We are grateful we have each other in this season. Melvina has her “me time,” I have my projects, but we still make it a point to connect:

• We eat dinner together.

• We go out and explore our new city.

• We stroll through stores, look at the merchandise on display, and quietly notice how much has changed.

We see things we used to buy when the kids were younger, and realize we no longer need them because we are in a different phase now. Life feels simpler and different, but not empty. Just new.

At the same time, being in a new city means building community almost from scratch.

Maybe you are in a similar place:

🛑 You are in a new season or new city and are not sure where to find people who share your interests.
🛑 You feel hesitant about stepping into new circles and reintroducing yourself.
🛑 You want connections that feel meaningful, not just polite small talk.

The truth is, shared interests create a natural foundation for strong, lasting relationships. When you find people who care about similar things, connection feels less forced and more genuine.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.”
(Ecclesiastes 4:9)
Purposeful relationships multiply growth and joy.

Why Shared Interests Strengthen Relationships

In this Sacramento chapter, I am reminded that God often uses shared interests to weave new people into our story.

They create natural conversation and connection
When you enjoy the same activities or topics, you do not have to strain for conversation. Whether it is faith, travel, food, business, books, or community work, mutual interests give you an easy starting point.

They foster long term bonds
Common ground can grow into common memories. Over time, shared experiences become the threads that tie friendships together. New routines, new places, and new stories slowly build a shared history.

They provide encouragement and motivation
When you walk alongside like minded people, your interests and goals do not stay in your head. They are strengthened, challenged, and refined in community.

A Biblical Example: Paul and Silas’ Partnership

Paul and Silas shared a clear mission: spreading the gospel and strengthening the early church. Their shared purpose formed the foundation of their partnership and friendship.

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.”
(Acts 16:25)

Even in prison, they were united in what mattered most. Their shared calling gave them strength in hardship and joy in worship.

In our own lives, when we build relationships around God given interests and purposes, we often discover friendships that can carry us through transition, relocation, and change.

5 Ways to Build New Relationships Through Shared Interests

These are some of the questions I am asking myself in this new season. You may find them helpful too:

1️. What activities or hobbies bring me joy right now?
For me, that includes travel, exploring new cultures, meaningful conversations, entrepreneurship, and simply observing life in a new city.
Start with what naturally excites you in this phase of life, not just what used to matter ten years ago.

2️. Where can I find communities that share my interests?
In a new city like Sacramento, that might look like local churches, small groups, community events, business networks, Bible studies, chess clubs, or interest based meetups.
Look for places where what you enjoy is already happening.

3️. How can I take the first step in connecting with someone new?
That first step might be as simple as saying hello after a service, starting a conversation at an event, or introducing yourself to someone who seems familiar.
Initiate with genuine curiosity, not pressure.

4️. How can I nurture these relationships over time?
Relationships grow through follow up:

• A quick message

• An invitation to coffee

• Showing up consistently to the same gathering

“Encourage one another and build each other up.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

5️. What scripture reminds me that building new relationships is part of God’s plan?
One verse I hold onto is:

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

God often shapes us through the people He brings into our lives.

How to Make New Connections Last

Meeting people is one step. Turning those moments into something meaningful is another.

Be intentional about showing up
In a new city, it is easy to stay withdrawn. But friendships usually grow where we keep showing up: church, small groups, community meetings, local events.

Be open and curious
Ask questions and really listen. When people feel seen and heard, they are more likely to open up and move beyond small talk.

Take initiative to plan gatherings
You do not have to wait for someone else to organize everything. Invite a couple of people to coffee, a walk, or a simple meal. The best communities often start small and informal.

Pray for meaningful relationships
In this season, my prayer has been, “Lord, connect us with the people You want in our lives here.”
God knows who needs your presence and whose presence you need.

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”
(Hebrews 10:24)

The right relationships encourage purpose, courage, and obedience.

Your Turn

What is one step you can take today to meet people who share your interests in this season?

• Join a group or class

• Stay a little longer after church to talk with someone

• Reach out to a neighbor or acquaintance

• Attend that event you have been putting off

Take that step and see where God leads.

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About the Author

Winston Cole is not a 20 year old guru promising overnight wins.

He is a 50+ educator and engineer who immigrated from Sierra Leone 35 years ago with a travel bag and a few dollars. He taught special education by day, studied funnels and affiliate marketing by night, and rebuilt his life after losing everything in the 2008 financial crisis. Married for 37 years, Winston is faith first and family focused.

Winston helps midlife professionals and educators reinvent themselves with integrity, community, and practical systems. If he found freedom in midlife, you can too.