Growing Together: How to Strengthen Your Marriage While Reinventing Yourself

Reinvention is exciting, but it does not happen in a vacuum. It affects the people closest to you, especially your spouse.

I know this personally.

I am happily married to Melvina, and we are blessed with three adult children. Over the years, my life mantra has become, “Everything is just for a while,” and “Where there is a will, there is always a way.” Those two ideas shape how I look at change, growth, and marriage.

GOD has a sense of humor in the way He paired us.

• She loves coffee. I love tea.

• She is a “late to bed” person. I am an early riser.

• I love to combine vacation with educational seminars. She prefers vacations that are actually vacations, not three days of intensive seminars in disguise.

In other words, we do not grow in identical ways or at the same pace. Yet by God’s grace, our differences do not have to pull us apart. When we handle them with love, faith, and communication, they actually deepen our relationship.

Maybe you can relate:

🛑 You feel some tension as you change and your partner is still adjusting.
🛑 You worry about how your new goals or direction will impact your marriage.
🛑 You struggle to balance personal transformation with the needs and rhythms of your relationship.

Here is the hope: growth does not have to pull you apart. It can bring you closer.

When reinvention is approached with communication, patience, and love, it becomes an opportunity to grow as a couple, not just as individuals.

💡 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
(Ecclesiastes 4:12)
A strong partnership is built on unity and faith.

Why Marriage and Growth Can Coexist

Personal growth and a thriving marriage can walk together.

In our home, we have had seasons where my entrepreneurial adventures, travel, and desire to attend seminars created tension. I might be excited about a new idea, a new culture to explore, or a new way to stretch myself. Melvina might be thinking about rest, family time, and the need to slow down.

Those moments have taught me a few important truths.

✔ Growth fosters deeper communication
When I share what GOD is doing in my heart, and listen to what she needs, we both evolve. Honest conversations help us move from “my way versus your way” to “our way, under God.”

✔ Growth strengthens emotional and spiritual bonds
When we align our goals and invite GOD into them, our differences start to feel less like friction and more like balance. My drive and her sense of pace complement each other.

✔ Growth models grace and patience
There are times when my idea of a “perfect” trip includes a conference badge and a full notebook. For her, the perfect trip is restful and pressure free. Learning to honor those differences has trained us in patience and love. That is where real maturity happens.

A Biblical Example: Priscilla and Aquila’s Partnership

Priscilla and Aquila are a beautiful example of a couple who grew together while serving GOD.

They worked side by side in both ministry and business. Their partnership was active and sacrificial, and it allowed them to grow individually and together while staying rooted in their shared purpose.

“They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them.”
(Romans 16:4)

Like them, we are invited into a kind of marriage where both people are growing, stretching, and risking for the sake of God’s calling, yet staying united in love and purpose.

5 Questions To Help Your Marriage Stay Healthy While You Reinvent Yourself

These questions have helped me, and they may help you as you navigate change:

1️. How can I communicate my personal growth to my partner?
Instead of just acting on new desires or decisions, I can explain what is shifting inside me.
What is GOD stirring in my heart? What am I dreaming about? What do I fear?

2️. How can we support each other’s individual goals?
We can ask each other:
“How can I support what you are working toward?”
Sometimes support means cheering from the sidelines. Other times it means adjusting schedules, sharing responsibilities, or simply offering encouragement.

3️. Are we prioritizing quality time together?
My love for travel, culture, chess, and entrepreneurship can easily fill my calendar. Her need for rest and unhurried time matters just as much. We have learned to protect time that is just for us, without projects or pressure.

4️. How can we invite GOD into our journey of growth?
Reinvention is not only about willpower. It is about alignment with GOD’s purpose.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”
(Psalm 127:1)

Praying together about decisions brings peace, even when we do not see all the details.

5️. What scripture can remind us to stay united through change?
One verse we can hold onto is:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
(Ephesians 4:2)

Change will test our patience. Scripture reminds us to respond with humility and love.

How To Keep Your Marriage Strong During Change

Here are some practical steps that help keep a relationship strong while life and identity shift:

📝 Prioritize Open Communication
Talk regularly about goals, fears, and expectations. Do not wait until tension boils over. Share early, speak gently, and listen fully.

📝 Involve Your Partner In Your Journey
Invite their opinion when you are considering big moves: new ventures, travel, or major reinventions. Growth is richer when it is shared, not hidden.

📝 Make Time For Each Other
Schedule time that is just for connection. In our case, that can mean times where I intentionally leave the books, seminars, and business ideas off the table, so we can simply enjoy each other.

📝 Pray Together For Guidance and Strength
A God-centered relationship does not avoid every storm, but it has an anchor. Praying together has a way of softening our hearts and reconnecting us to the One who is building our home.

💡 “Let all that you do be done in love.”
(1 Corinthians 16:14)

Love and growth can thrive together when Christ is at the center.

Your Turn

What is one practical way you can strengthen your relationship while you pursue personal growth?

• A conversation you have been postponing

• A small adjustment to your plans out of love for your spouse

• A prayer you can share together today

Choose one step and take it.

🔥 Want more insights on maintaining a thriving relationship while you evolve?
Subscribe to Rekindle Weekly for faith-driven strategies on love, growth, and connection as you walk out your own journey of reinvention.

 About the Author

Winston Cole is not a 20-year-old guru promising overnight wins.

He is a 50+ educator and engineer who immigrated from Sierra Leone 35 years ago with a travel bag and a few dollars. He taught special education by day, studied funnels and affiliate marketing by night, and rebuilt his life after losing everything in the 2008 financial crisis. Married for 37 years, Winston is faith-first and family-focused.

Winston helps midlife professionals and educators reinvent themselves with integrity, community, and practical systems. If he found freedom in midlife, you can too.

Share This Message

Know someone navigating the tension between personal growth and family expectations? Forward this to them.

Let's build a community of people who honor their relationships while pursuing the calling God has placed on their lives.