How to Embrace Solitude Without Feeling Lonely

Two months ago, when Melvina and I moved to Sacramento, the volume of my life dropped in a noticeable way.

No kids running around.
No Cartoon Network or Captain Underpants in the background.
No constant door slamming, snack requests, or teenage energy filling the house.

For the first time in a long time, I could actually hear myself think.

Some moments, that quiet feels beautiful. I can read, pray, plan, or just sit with my thoughts. Melvina has her me time, I have my projects, and we come back together for dinner, walks, and little outings.

Other moments, the silence can feel loud. The empty nest is real. Old routines are gone. Familiar noise has faded. Solitude can feel like a gift one day, and like a question mark the next.

Maybe you feel some of this too:

🛑 You struggle with feeling disconnected from others, even when life is busy.
🛑 You associate being alone with isolation or rejection, not with growth.
🛑 You quietly wonder if something is wrong when you spend a lot of time by yourself.

Here is what I am learning in this season:
Solitude is not the enemy. It is often an invitation.

When I use quiet time for reflection, renewal, and connecting with God, it becomes a place of strength instead of a space of loneliness.

Why Embracing Solitude Is Powerful

Solitude, handled well, does not take something from you. It gives something to you.

It fosters self awareness and personal growth
In the quiet, I can be honest with myself. I can ask:
What am I really feeling?
What season am I in?
Where is God stretching me?
Those answers do not come easily in constant noise.

It strengthens your faith
Time alone with God, whether in Scripture, worship, or simple silence, deepens your spiritual roots. You begin to experience God as present company, not distant theory.

It cultivates creativity and clarity
Without constant distractions, ideas surface. Direction becomes clearer. You start seeing patterns, possibilities, and solutions that were buried under noise.

Biblical Example: Jesus Seeking Solitude For Strength

Jesus modeled solitude in a powerful way.

He was surrounded by crowds, needs, questions, and expectations. Yet He regularly stepped away to be alone with the Father.

His solitude was not escape. It was preparation. It was alignment. It was renewal.

If the Son of God needed quiet spaces to reset and reconnect, I can safely assume I do too.

5 Ways To Embrace Solitude Without Feeling Lonely

Here are some questions and practices I am using in this new Sacramento chapter. They may help you as well:

1️⃣ How can I use alone time for personal growth?
I can turn off the background noise and lean into journaling, reading, reflection, and prayer.
→ Writing out my thoughts, fears, and hopes often brings surprising clarity.

2️⃣ What activities can help me enjoy solitude?
For me, that might be walking around a new neighborhood, reading a good book, learning something new, playing a quiet game of chess, or planning future projects.
→ Your list may look different, and that is okay. The key is choosing life giving activities, not just mindless distraction.

3️⃣ How can I shift my mindset about being alone?
Instead of thinking, “No one is here,” I can remind myself:

4️⃣ How can I stay connected while embracing solitude?
Solitude is not isolation. I can still:

• Schedule calls or coffee with friends

• Attend church and small groups

• Reach out to family and community
  → Quality interactions help balance meaningful time alone.

5️⃣ What scripture reminds me I am never truly alone?
One of the promises that anchors me is:

When I take that seriously, solitude becomes shared space with God, not empty space by myself.

How To Find Joy In Solitude

You do not have to fear the quiet. You can grow in it.

Reframe alone time as a gift
Instead of seeing it as a burden or a sign that life passed you by, view it as an opportunity to reset, heal, and refocus.

Use it to grow spiritually and mentally
Read, study, pray, learn, dream, and plan. Let your mind and spirit be nourished instead of numbed.

Balance solitude with meaningful connections
Enjoy your own company, but do not neglect relationships. You can have both: regular quiet time and intentional community.

Pray for contentment and peace
Ask God to help you enjoy the season you are in, not just the one you miss or the one you hope is coming.

There is power in stillness. There is strength in solitude surrendered to God.

Your Turn

What is one simple way you can embrace solitude this week?

• A quiet walk without your phone

• Fifteen minutes of journaling

• Time in Scripture and prayer without rushing

• Sitting in your living room and consciously inviting God into the silence

Plan a small, quiet moment to recharge and reflect. Then notice what God begins to show you there.

About the Author

Winston Cole is not a 20 year old guru promising overnight wins.

He is a 50+ educator and engineer who immigrated from Sierra Leone 35 years ago with a travel bag and a few dollars. He taught special education by day, studied funnels and affiliate marketing by night, and rebuilt his life after losing everything in the 2008 financial crisis. Married for 37 years, Winston is faith first and family focused.

Winston helps midlife professionals and educators reinvent themselves with integrity, community, and practical systems. If he found freedom in midlife, you can too.

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Know someone who is learning to navigate quiet seasons, empty rooms, or big life transitions? Share this with them.

Let us build a community of people who honor their relationships, embrace solitude with God, and pursue the calling He has placed on their lives.