When to Let Go of Friendships That No Longer Serve You

When Grace Says “Release”

My favorite holiday after Christmas is Thanksgiving. I entered the U.S. during Thanksgiving week some 35 years ago with a traveling bag and a few dollars in my pocket. Thirty-five years ago, I left my family to start over in the United States. Maybe that’s why this holiday still hits different for me. It’s the weekend we set aside to share a meal with loved ones—to give thanks, look each other in the eye, and remember what truly matters. I know the value of gratitude and the sacred act of breaking bread with others. I’m grateful I did let go—and, truthfully, we’re still letting go of more stuff in this season, making room for what God is doing next.

That’s also why this topic is tender. As we head into a season of tables and toasts, some of us feel a quiet truth: not every friendship is meant to last forever. Honoring God, our growth, and our peace sometimes means releasing relationships that no longer align with our values or direction.

• 🛑 You feel guilty stepping back—even when the friendship drains you.

• 🛑 You’re torn between holding on, setting boundaries, or moving on.

• 🛑 You worry that letting go makes you a “bad” friend.

The truth: Some friendships are for a season, not a lifetime. Letting go with grace doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re making room for the people and community that fit the life God is growing in you.

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” — Amos 3:3

Coping Tips for Letting Go (Faithful and Practical)

• Name the season honestly. Write one sentence that captures where the friendship is now (e.g., “We’ve grown in different directions”). Truth reduces rumination.

• Bless, don’t blame. In prayer or a short note, thank God for what the friendship gave you. Gratitude softens grief.

• Create a boundary you can keep. For 30 days, limit contact to a cadence that supports your peace (e.g., “no late-night venting calls”). Consistency is kinder than mixed signals.

• Replace, don’t just remove. Intentionally add life-giving inputs—Scripture, a small group, a mentor, or a hobby community—so the space doesn’t refill with the same patterns.

• Feel it in waves. Expect moments of sadness or second-guessing. Breathe, pray Psalm 23 or Isaiah 43:19, and return to your decision with gentleness.

• Practice a release ritual. A brief prayer, a journal entry, or a symbolic act (like closing a note in your Bible) can mark the transition and help you move forward.

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About the Author

Winston Cole is not a 20-year-old guru promising overnight success. I’m the 50+ educator who taught by day, studied funnels by night, and rebuilt after losing it all. If I achieved freedom in midlife, you can too.